


Homemade Brew

by cherrylng



Category: Coldplay (Band), Muse (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, How to make medieval ale, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 23:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13469079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrylng/pseuds/cherrylng
Summary: Matt recently took up an interest in brewing as a hobby.





	Homemade Brew

**Author's Note:**

> This short story has been sitting in my folder longer than I thought. I think it had been there for about a year or so. I've finally dealt with it and edited it so that it can at least be posted and done with. The story was inspired by that one episode of the British series The Supersizers Go... where Sue Perkins was learning how to make medieval ale. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFbq15Sf1fs
> 
> Enjoy and comment!

If there’s an idea on what to do to spend his time on the weekends for Guy, helping his boyfriend to make his own ale brew doesn’t top the list of something that he finds to be interested in doing. But that is what he is doing on a Saturday with Matt in the cellar that their house possesses, and at least he’s helping to do something that they will both benefit from it.  
  
Matt recently took up an interest in brewing as a hobby and went to a local workshop to learn how to do it. A few classes later, and Matt is more than confident that he is ready to make his own brew at home. Specifically, he’s curious about making medieval ale.  
  
It isn’t exactly a bad thing, in Guy’s opinion. Matt has something productive to do at home when not on tour and the cellar in their house is put into its intended use. It’s a win-win situation. Sort of. It depends on whether or not if Matt  _does_  know how to make a good brew.  
  
The singer had bought the necessary ingredients to make his brew: malted grains, water, and dry yeast. The only thing left that Matt needs is an extra pair of helping hands. Luckily, Guy is his boyfriend and said extra pair of helping hands.   
  
Since the malted grains were already crushed when Matt procured it, he pours it into a stainless steel vat as Guy brings down a large bucket of hot water just recently boiled from the kitchen to the cellar.  
  
“Got your hot water,” Guy says once he put the bucket down. “What’s next?”  
  
“Just slowly and carefully pour the hot water into here,” Matt instructs.  
  
Guy lifts and tilts the bucket of boiling water into the large pot, the two of them keeping watch as the grains and malt seem to suck up the liquid until Matt orders him to stop pouring once it’s at a certain volume.  
  
Sticking his nose down at the brew, Matt makes a pleasured noise .  
  
“Come on, smell that,” he gestures to his boyfriend. “It’s like ovaltine.”  
  
Guy leans down and takes a whiff of it, and true to his words, it does indeed smell like ovaltine. The malty scent is pleasing to his nose and also reminds him a bit like Horlicks as well.  
  
“So you’re really making authentic medieval ale based on a centuries old recipe?” Guy asks.  
  
“Well, it’s not entirely accurate. We’re making medieval ale using modern day utilities for one. Back in the medieval era, the women were the ones who did most of the brewing and back then they would do stuff to the brew,” Matt explains. “Things like adulterating it to kickstart the fermentation process or at least the process of it. The simplest one used since the time of the ancient Egyptians is to spit saliva into it.”  
  
“That sounds disgusting,” Guy grimaces. “Why would they do that?”  
  
“Well, the purpose of it is to activate the bacterial properties in the yeast that eats and kills any micro bacteria in the water and what’s left of it is something safe to drink with some alcohol it,” Matt says, his mind coming out with facts that he’d learned while doing his research. He then stares down at the brew. “So maybe a little spit wouldn’t—”  
  
“No.”  
  
“But, Guy—”  
  
“Let’s just keep to the basics here rather than take shortcuts,” Guy gives his final say to the matter. “And keep it  _hygienic_.” He stresses the last word.  
  
“Spoilsport.”  
  
After waiting for some time for the ingredients to steep in the water, they pour the rest of the hot water into the vat.  
  
Matt gives the brew a good stir with a large wooden spoon until the grain and water are mixed well together.  
  
“And that’s it,” Matt says, pulling the spoon out.  
  
“That’s all?” Guy looks at the muddy coloured brew and then at Matt. “No further need of boiling or anything? No need for hops?”  
  
“Medieval ale doesn’t need more boiling or put hops in it. Beer does,” Matt points out. “The second boiling and the hops are what keeps beer from going stale or losing flavour for long term storage. This is just the prototype batch anyways. I’ll make more once I know the process better as it goes.”  
  
By the looks of the size of the steel vat, the amount that they’ll get is enough for three or four people, maybe more if they each drink it sparingly.  
  
“We have to let the brew rest overnight before I put the yeast in for tomorrow,” Matt says.  
  
“So how long does it take until we have alcohol?” Guy asks.  
  
“We have to wait for five or six days and then we’ll have ale.”  
  
“That’s a long time to get ale.”  
  
“It isn’t long. Compared to wine or whiskey, which at least takes a few months before they mature, this is actually the fastest method to get an alcoholic drink.”  
  
Still, it will be a week away before they get a proper taste of it.  
  
“So what are we going to do for the whole week then?” the bassist asks.  
  
Judging by the appreciative looks Matt has on him, Guy is more than certain on what they will do within the next hour.   
  
\-----  
  
A week later, they have a keg of ale, aptly named and labeled as ‘Bellamy’s Dirty Brew’. Not because of the almost attempt for Matt to apply his spit into the brew, which would have left the ale to be drinkable only to Matt, but because of what the ale looks like in their glasses when they poured it out from the keg.  
  
“Doesn’t look like your modern day ale alright,” Dom observes his glass, having invited himself over to try it out with them. “The colour kind of reminds me of cloudy apple juice.”  
  
“It does,” Matt agrees. “And this is after I filtered out all the solids.”  
  
“Wonder if it tastes as good as you’ll say,” Dom says with a sense of doubt.  
  
“Relax, Dom. I’ve had a small sip this morning to make sure that it’s safe for us all to drink it.”  
  
“You sure that you didn’t adulterate it or anything?”  
  
“Of course I didn’t! Well, except that while doing it I was going to—”  
  
“So, cheers to all,” Guy holds up his glass, cutting off any chances of Matt’s explanation potentially ruin the atmosphere. “And here’s our first taste of Matt’s homemade medieval ale.”  
  
They all gave a toast and followed Matt’s instructions to the word, giving their glasses a little swirl around to get the aroma out, take a good smell at the ale before taking a sip and swirl the drink in their mouths.  
  
A few swirls and a swallow later, they glance at each other and they each have a distinctive look on their faces.  
  
“It’s not as bad as I thought,” Guy is the first to speak.  
  
“It’s bloody good ale,” Matt grins, taking another sip.  
  
“I’ll tell you what,” Dom says, sipping his glass until it is empty. “I wouldn’t mind going back for some more...”  
  
And the keg starts to get lighter and lighter in its load.  
  
\-----  
  
Matt blinks blearily as a headache slowly woke him from sleep. The first thing that he notices is that he is in the living room, lying down on the sofa. The tan arm thrown over him is easily recognisable to Matt. He recalls that he’d somehow managed to fit himself next to Dom to sleep on the sofa but didn’t fall off from the furniture.   
  
Looking around, he spots Guy still snoozing on the armchair, with a bucket that was never there before close to his feet, still clean and empty.  _Smart man_ , Matt thinks while smiling.  
  
Now it’s time to recall what happened that led them to here.  
  
There were a lot of compliments on the success of his first time in brewing medieval ale, trying to discern what the taste and aroma is like. And then they abandoned all pretenses of taste testing the ale and went straight to drinking it down. They didn’t really stop drinking until the keg was dry.  
  
Then they moved from the cellar to the living room instead when they found out that the cold floors of the cellar is not a good place to lie down. And they had a few more drinks picked out of the wine cabinet along the way.  
  
Now that Matt thinks about it, they were all fairly drunk by the time they had emptied out the keg.  
  
In hindsight, they only have themselves to blame for it. That’s what you get for drinking an experimental and delicious drink and not checking its alcohol content beforehand. What probably also made it hard to stop was that they all couldn’t really taste the alcohol in it to discern how much of it is contained in the ale.   
  
Judging by the headache, Matt can only assume that the brew that he’d made was way stronger than the average bottle of ale sold in the supermarket, but not at the strength of the likes of wine or whiskey. Had it been at the same strength as the latter, the alcohol would be more than noticeable to their taste buds.  
  
Matt can feel something suddenly vibrating against his thigh. Pulling his smartphone out, Matt checks the screen and sees that it is Chris who is contacting him.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
Matt hears Chris’ voice responding cheerfully.  
  
 _“Hey Matt! I heard you were making your own craft ale!”_  
  
“Yeah, Dom came by today to try a sip of it with me and Guy.”  
  
 _“Still got some left? I can bring snacks over.”_  
  
Matt takes a pause.  
  
“You don’t drink anymore, Chris,” he points out.  
  
 _“Doesn’t mean I can’t try a sip and then watch you guys get smashed trying to finish it all.”_  
  
“Uhhh, yeah… about that, Chris, we had a little too much.”  
  
 _“By how much?”_  
  
“I think the keg was emptied out by the three of us before we even left the cellar,” Matt admits awkwardly.  
  
 _“You mean to tell me that the three of you finished up the whole thing in a day? Without sharing some for us? What the fuck, guys?!”_  
  
“Please lower your voice there,” he moans miserably, wincing at the loud voice. “My brain is still stuck in the Dark Ages here.”  
  
 _“You didn’t left any for me! I was looking forward to that!”_  
  
“I made another batch a few days ago, Chris, so don’t pull your knickers into a twist about this. It’ll be ready in about,” Matt’s head is in pain as he tries to remember when he had made that particular batch of ale and mentally counts the days towards when it is ready to be drunk. “It’ll be ready in about three days from now.”  
  
 _“You better not drink it all when I’m not there.”_  
  
“Again, you don’t drink anymore.”  
  
 _“Again, I can allow myself to take a couple of sips to taste it. So no drinking until I’m there.”_  
  
“I’ll see you around then.”  
  
Matt turns off the phone, sighing as he lets the silence deal with his hangover. Well, at least that was quickly dealt with.  
  
Only one more thing left to deal with...  
  
“Dom, please stop fondling my chest. My boyfriend is less than a meter away from where you are.”


End file.
